Most of my pages are more about the art and less about the journaling. Usually the journaling comes to mind after the page is complete. This page was the opposite. I started this page with the words... Safe does not always equal happy... in my head. It's the first time I didn't really care about the colors or how the background would look. I'm taking Effy Wild's BOD Class. I watched her video today and something she said, had me thinking about the choices I've made in my life.
My early choices were based on my need to feel safe. I was brought up in a safe environment and I was protected and naive. I didn't believe that I could take care of myself. I didn't take chances and I always followed the rules. In a time, when many young people were trying drugs and pushing boundaries, I was the opposite. I wanted to be safe and I made life choices based on what I knew at the time.
Safe did not end making me happy. I thought it would. I truly did. In recent years, I've kicked myself for those choices. Today, again, I see that I could not make decisions with information I did not have at the time. Hindsight really is 20/20. I know what I know today because I've lived a lot of years and I've done a hell of a lot of work on me. I worked my butt off to learn who I am and what I like. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.
Blame is not helpful. I made the best decision I knew to make at age 21. I will not blame myself any longer for those decisions. Life happens, people grow and change. Sometimes people grow together and sometimes they don't.
The background is gelli printed on deli paper. I love the swirls. They were made with a kitchen scrubby on the gelli plate. Thank You, Lori West. That scrubby was a wonderful gift.
Glad your growing and learning the truth of who you really are and want to be!
ReplyDeletethank you
ReplyDeleteI love your pages and love taking Effy's class with you! I am growing, too!
ReplyDeleteHey Boo! Love your journal page Sugar and enjoyed reading your blog. Someone once said to me over a regret I had, If you had known better you would have done better. I could have written what you did - sounds so much like my life. I really like the colors you have used and if I can ever get out of this chair - I can't wait to get back to my craft room!
ReplyDeletesandy
I've learned in recent years to accept that I made the best decisions I could at the time with the information I had and so did all the other people in my life. But the older I get the more risks I take...and the more fun I am having! You know I love text- so awesome that you started with the words! Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt post with the party!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with you more, Boo - we can only make decitions based on what we know. It's good to hear that you now also know that blaming yourself doesn't make any sense.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to what you said about needing to feel safe and making choices based on that need in the past. Been there, done that - didn't make me happy in the long run. Good thing we can change our minds and make better choices! And better beginnings when something has to end ...
Thank you for sharing. Your art journal page turned out great!
XOX
Hey Boo - sorry I'm late. Holiday excursions have taken over everything, haha. But the car's gone back today & the rest of the week will be spent on bus journeys & the odd train trip. Tomorrow we're off to an aquarium.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, I love your page here and the words & patterns & colours.
I really like 'There is always time to make new choices' - We must all learn to move on from our 'if only's. Just some of us take a little longer, haha. Keep em coming Boo. You inspire me everytime :0) Mo x