I'm a little blue today. You see, today should have been my 37 wedding anniversary. I was pretty shocked and frightened when my marriage ended 6 years ago. I had no clue if I could take care of myself emotionally, spiritually or financially. So what did I do? I took it one day at a time. I cried, I cussed and I mourned what I thought I had and what I thought would be my golden years. Guess what? I survived. Those first few years thats about all I did... survive.
And now six years later? I'm flourishing. I checked my email before I sat down to write my blog today. That brings me to the title of this post. My inbox was filled with comments from you. You have made my day. You have reminded me that I'm not alone and that the gremlins in my head just need to hush. Today, those voices in my head were pretty darn negative. They were telling me all the things that were wrong with me and for a moment I forgot that it's ok that I'm not perfect.
You helped me remember that I'm a combination of good traits and ones I would like to work on... neither of those sets of traits totally define me. I am not all bad nor am I all good. I'm a mixture and who I am today is just fine.
I appreciate all of you who take the time to comment on my blog. It means more than I can ever say. You touch my heart.
This is my Book of Days piece. The theme was napkins and layers.
I started with a layer of gesso, then I added napkins with text and sunflowers. Next I added a white layer of thin tissue (the napkin backing). I was not loving it, so I sprayed yellow paint on my page. At this point, the gremlins in my head were saying... it's ugly.
Next I put crushed egg shells in spots around the page. They were way too white so I added some sunshine orange paint. This seemed like a good idea but it did nothing for the page. Now the gremlins were screaming..... give up... walk away.
Thank you Carolyn Dube.... I could hear your voice telling me to ignore the gremlins. I picked up a piece of deli paper that had yellow, orange, green and a some wonderful blue on it. I could hear Effy... saying just keep adding layers. So, I tore it into pieces and glued it on top of my other layers. I glued it very haphazardly. I just put the colors in different spots on the page.
At this point, it had so much gel medium on it, that I thought it would never dry. I love my heat tool. After I dried it a bit, I looked at the page and there was a sailboat. I didn't intentionally put a sailboat on the page... I just glue the blue on that part of the page. Then it hit me, I must have used that deli paper when I was painted a sailboat for another page. I don't even remember doing it but there, bigger than life, was an outline of 3/4 of a sail boat.
That boat listing to one side reminded me of how I felt. I was listing today. I was in a rough patch. I could capsize or not... it was my choice. So I made a sail for my unexpected boat out of yet another napkin that was sitting on my desk. I outlined it with my blue Stabilio pencil and added the words Rough Seas with a Sharpie Paint pen. I added a bit of Stabilio around the edges of the page and it was complete.
I liked the page now but I was still feeling a down...and that was when checked my email. A special thank you to Sandy and Twinkletoes. You two lifted my heart, today, when I really needed it. This page is dedicate to the two of you.
Link to: Artist Play Room, Carolyn Dube, Book of Days